Obtaining Permission
by character-absquatulation
Summary: I love regulations: "All Starfleet personnel must obtain authorization from their commanding officer as well as clearance from their medical officer before initiating an intimate relationship with an alien species." K/S.
1. Interstellar Diplomacy

**Author's Note: **The quote comes from "The Disease" (VOY). Harry Kim parrots off the regulation to Janeway shortly after disobeying it. No canon evidence that the regulation was written in time for TOS, or the reboot, but pretty to think so...

* * *

"All Starfleet personnel must obtain authorization from their commanding officer as well as clearance from their medical officer before initiating an intimate relationship with an alien species." - Starfleet Handbook on Personal Relationships

* * *

It was a terrible dance, one they did every few months. Regulations stated that Leonard had to fill out paperwork whenever Jim wanted to get carried away while on shore leave, or planned on entertaining a particularly progressive diplomat, or...

So Jim would be vague and suggestive, and Leonard would be insistant and irritated. Jim would wink, Leonard would roll his eyes, and eventually the captain would wrestle a signature from his doctor. It was one of those duties that Leonard had really not given enough thought to when he took the post, just like diagnosing his best friend's weird rashes upon his return.

They were overdue for one of those awkward conversations, Leonard realized as the captain shuffled into his office. It had been half an Earth year since the last time Jim had come in with that 'aw shucks' grin, but the doctor could still tell just by looking at him which form he would be filling out.

"How are ya, Jim? Eating enough lettuce?" It was a running joke from their crash-course command training-- that commanders have to eat well to set a good example, or else the whole crew would binge on replicated Twinkies or some similar nonsense.

Jim smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "As much of it as you can prescribe." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I've got to ask you a question."

Oh boy, here it comes. "Is it related to 'interstellar diplomacy'?"

Jim gave a shaky laugh. "And I thought I was being subtle. Dammit... Bones, what's the intent behind that regulation?" Jim began pacing the narrow stretch of floor beside the desk.

"To force me into early retirement?" His wit was only rewarded with a mild glare, and more pacing. "Oh, come on now. You know the risks of having sex with a strange species. It's not like the Federation can afford to lose its youngest captain just because he has a thing for tentacles."

Jim didn't even bat an eye at the tentacle jibe. "Is it just about ensuring my safety, then?" The question had a strange intensity to it, one Leonard could not quite place.

"And probably maintaining suitable diplomatic relations, but that's not the side my paperwork covers." Pacing and glaring was not their regular waltz around this topic. Something was going on. "Jim, what is it really? You look like hell."

"I doubt the diplomats will be worried," Jim muttered, and gave the leg of the desk a little kick. It was a gesture of frustration, one Leonard had not seen in awhile.

Leonard just watched him, and waited. Step, step, pivot. Step, step, pivot.

When Jim finally spoke, he was still looking at the floor. "How alien does the 'alien species' have to be for you to be concerned?"

The good doctor finally realized what was making this conversation different from all the others, though he could not for the life of him imagine why. "You're trying to keep this one from me, aren't you... But you've always used the paperwork as Federation-approved bragging rights. What makes this one any different?"

Step, step, pivot. "I could order you to answer me, you know." Jim sounded drained, frustrated.

"You really going to pull rank over this?"

"If I have to, yes."

"Well, damn." Leonard whistled, soft and slow. "This one is serious, isn't it?" He got no answer, and decided to change tactics. "You off duty?" He reached into his bottom desk drawer and grabbed the bottle of Jack that he had stashed there. It and two shot glasses would make a party, maybe enough of one that Jim would let loose whatever was bothering him.

At the sight of the bottle, Jim finally sat. He downed one shot with feeling, and then studied the glass. Federation-issue, of all things.

Leonard did a shot of his own, and then let his glass rest on the desk. "I have to at least know the species before I can sign off, you know."

"I know." The silence was amicable, and Leonard did his best to avoid badgering Jim with questions. Being a good doctor, or a good friend, often meant knowing when to shut up, and Leonard was doing his damndest to excel at both right then.

Jim took another shot, and another, then let his glass thud onto the desk alongside Leonard's. "Vulcan, Bones. Half fucking vulcan."

"Huh. Didn't know there was another one." The hum of the ship did not cover Jim's snort, and Bones looked up. It couldn't be... "No. No way. Isn't he still with Uhura, and... you don't like men, and-- Spock?!" Now it was Jim who was being patiently silent, head in his hands. "Shit."

"Yeah," Jim agreed. "Shit."


	2. I'm drunk, I can ask

**Author's Note:** This is my first bout of fanfic-writing in over five years, at least where I've bothered to put it out there for others to read, and I've honestly been blown away by both the traffic my stories have received and the kind reviews this piece has gotten. Thanks for both reading and reviewing; they're always appreciated! Happy holidays!

* * *

A few shots later, on each side, Bones finally made the mistake of asking for details. Actually he just said, "Really, Jim? _Spock?_" but apparently that was encouragement enough.

"I don't even know, Bones," Jim muttered, his voice coming out shaky. "I thought he was flirting, and then I was sure he wasn't, and now I just don't know."

Leonard laughed without meaning to, and was glad to have the bottle as an excuse. "And how, exactly, does a pointy-ears flirt?"

He wished he hadn't seen the shudder that ran his friend through at the thought. "He's so careful, I can't imagine him touching me by accident..."

"Touching you how? Ugh, no. Forget I asked. I'd rather not have visions of Vulcans flirting in my head..." The doctor felt a profound need to change the subject. "What about Uhura, anyway? Cheating's pretty damn illogical, even for you."

"They split up awhile back, just before our last shore leave."

"Huh. Usually I hear about that sort of nonsense. The rumor mill must have busted."

"I'll have Scotty look into it," Jim cracked half-heartedly, staring down at his empty shot glass.

It took Leonard a moment to navigate through the whiskey haze to figure out what was bothering him about their exchange, but he managed it. "Wait-- How did _you_ find out about them?"

He looked sheepish. "He told me a few days later, over lunch."

Leonard realized, much to his chagrin, that the two had been eating together fairly often and he had not paid it any mind. "This is just too cute. I might retch." He refilled both glasses, and slid one over.

"You might want to see a doc about that, Bones. Sounds serious." Jim downed the shot, then slammed the glass down with a bit more feeling than Leonard thought it deserved. "Is it cute, though, or just a coincidence? I mean, he could have just been making small talk."

Most people never got to see Jim doubt himself. Hell, even Leonard rarely saw him like this anymore. Commanding the Enterprise tended to get in the way of Jim's insecurities, or at least their manifestations. "I guess," Leonard replied, and watched his friend sigh mournfully. This really was bad. "You know you're acting like a school girl?"

That got a snort out of him, and something like a smile. "Yeah, apparently." His gaze drifted up to a spot somewhere over Leonard's head. It was an idle, wistful look, the kind he had given ships at space dock in their Academy days.

He had watched Jim chase dozens of women, and never before had he looked like that at something with legs. It was pretty curious. "Dammit, Jim, you're making me want gory details. How long has this been going on?"

"The lunch dates started right around when he left Uhura, I guess. He's been giving me extra departmental updates for way longer. Oh, and the touching..." There was real longing in that last word. "That started a few weeks ago."

"Fuck it all," Leonard muttered, downing his shot, then continued more loudly, "I'm drunk, I can ask. What do you mean, touching?"

"I don't know. He's just always standing a little closer than I expect him to be, or he'll touch my arm to get my attention, or..."

"That is just weird. He's a touch telepath, for chrissakes. I've never known him to touch anyone if he could help it."

Jim nodded a little too vigorously. "Which makes me think he's flirting. He is flirting, isn't he?"

"I'm a doctor, not a hooker, Jim. I'm no expert on this crap. Haven't done much of it since Julie, to be honest, and courting her didn't give me any tips on Vulcan etiquette, let alone..." He realized that he had a question as he spoke, and he was not sober enough to think of a reason not to ask. "Wait. Can we go back to the part where you started liking men and forgot to mention it to me?"

Jim blinked a few times before he spoke. "I've been with guys before, Bones." Now it was Leonard's turn to be taken aback. "What? It's been known to happen, usually when I'm drunk and the barroom brawl takes an unexpected turn-- Don't tell me that freaks you out."

"Of course not!" Leonard huffed. It didn't bother him, not really. "I just assumed you'd have the good graces to tell your best friend which side of the pond you're fishing at, that's all."

Jim actually guffawed at that, really and truly guffawed. "That is the single worst sexual metaphor I've ever heard," he finally replied, when he got air back in his lungs.

Leonard considered taking offense, but since he agreed he took another shot instead. "So, what about the whole _command_ thing?"

"Whaddya mean?"

"I mean, couldn't this interfere with your ability to run a starship together?"

The question sobered them both a bit. "It could-- if we let it," Jim replied at last, leaning back in his chair. His expression was serious, and that reassured Leonard. He wasn't in deep enough to throw away his commission, not yet anyway.

"Well, there's no medical reason for me to stand in your way. His very existence proves humans can survive Vulcan hanky panky, whatever that consists of. _Except_..." He drew that word out, and the pause after it, just to torture the bastard for putting him through this. He waited until Jim was literally squirming before he continued, "you know this is twice the usual paperwork, right? I've got to fill out one form out for you, and another for that hobgoblin..." He made it sound enough like a grumble that Jim smiled.

Jim left shortly after that, presumably to sleep the whiskey off, with a clap on his doctor's shoulder on his way out the door. Leonard started in on the paperwork immediately, both because the forms were easy enough that a monkey could sign off on them and because he wanted to drink away all memories of their ridiculous conversation afterwards.


	3. Earth lingo about sex

**Author's Note:** Sorry it took me so long to update. I didn't have a clear idea of the next block of plot, so I let my attention go elsewhere while I pondered things. (Specifically, I've been working on my other ongoing fics, devoting attention to my awesome full-time job, and getting married.) Now I'm back, with big bad plans for this baby, though I'll still be writing slowly, and the story will also be building gradually.

If you need a break from waiting on me, you might want to flip through my favorite stories. My absolute faves right now are CollaneR's riot!verse ("Era of Static and Contraband") lanaea's epic "Home"... It is one chapter short of completion, which I'm waiting on with baited breath!

Also, in response to Dysgrammatophobia's review question about ratings: _all_ of my fiction is rated M. As a general rule, my characters curse, drink, and have lots of sex. Death and violence tend to be backdrops for the 'verses I write in, even if I don't do many fight scenes. I know many authors bump up the rating of their stories as they progress, but I'd rather just start with the rating I'd like to end at and let readers decide for themselves whether or not to get invested. Hope that clears things up!

* * *

Leonard had been hoping to put at least one full shift between himself and last night's drunken mindfuck of a conversation, but the duty roster was apparently conspiring against him. Both Jim and Spock were already in the mess by the time he stumbled in for breakfast before alpha shift. He contemplated joining their table as he waited in the replicator line, but decided he needed a little more distance than that- at least until the hangover wore off.

Instead he settled for watching the pair from across the hall as he munched on reconstituted eggs and sausage. If Jim wasn't going to let him ignore this mass of idiocy, he could at least do some reconnaissance and get a better feel for the situation.

At first glance, Jim didn't seem to be behaving any differently with the first officer than he would with any of the other senior staff. They sat a normal distance apart, speaking quietly but in apparent earnest. Every few minutes, Jim would chuckle- to which Spock would inevitably raise an eyebrow- and then they would go back to talking.

It took Leonard a little while to realize that Jim was in fact behaving differently. No eyelash-batting nonsense, thank God, but he was... attending more carefully. Spock held the whole of his focus, even over an early, hungover breakfast and what was likely a very mundane conversation. A year ago, cadet Kirk wouldn't have been able to keep his eyes open through this, and yet there Jim was, looking like he wished he had a datapad handy.

It took him even longer to realize that Jim had been right: Spock really was acting out of character. He was sitting as close to Jim as another human would, not with his vulcan-sized personal space bubble. He was even leaning in towards him the slightest bit, an unexpected shift in posture for the normally upright, uptight first officer.

He continued to mull the whole thing over as he ate, and found himself growing more and more baffled between bites. Jim... and Spock? Jim... and men? Spock... and Jim? That Jim was infatuated he wouldn't have known without last night's conversation, and the state of Spock's logical 'affections' was anything but clear. He was being cool by human standards, but by vulcan ones? Maybe he'd just never seen the bastard among friends before...

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't realize that he had been staring right at the pair for awhile until it was too late. Spock strode over and inquired, "Doctor, would you care to join our table?"

Well, shit. "Don't mind if I do," he replied, with as much dignity as he could scrape together, and carried his tray across the mess hall toward an anxious-looking captain. Apparently this wasn't in Jim's plans either.

"You are always welcome to join us," the first officer added as they took their seats, "though I cannot guarantee that the conversation will be to your taste." He was damnably polite, in his typical fashion. He'd apparently mistaken Leonard's staring for an invitation request, and that suited the doctor far better than the alternative. "This morning, we are reviewing the logistics of our upcoming star-charting mission."

"Sounds tasty enough," Leonard countered, and promptly crammed down a bite of sausage as though it would emphasize his point.

Spock raised an eyebrow at the doctor's word choice, and Jim shrugged. "Actually, Spock, with Bones here it might be a good time to review upcoming promotions."

"Not before I've finished my breakfast!" Leonard huffed in reply. "I don't get off on working through meals, unlike _some_ species..." It wasn't until Leonard was well and done with the sentence that he saw Jim's blush, and realized the potential implication of his words.

Fortunately, Spock did not seem to get the joke. "I have not gotten onto or off of anything, Doctor. In any case, it is prudent to utilize meals efficiently, is it not?"

It was easier to banter than to explain Earth lingo about sex, he decided while chewing. "Of course not! The point is to enjoy the food and the company."

"Is it impossible to do both?"

Well, damn. A counter-attack seemed prudent: "I didn't know vulcans _could_ enjoy things."

"I meant for a human," he countered smoothly. "In any case, you seem to be out of breakfast. Shall we discuss departmental promotions now?"

"Ugh," Leonard snorted. "Fine." The debate went about as expected: there were a fixed number of promotions available in the department (as Starfleet was only so willing to throw the things about, even with the post-timefuck losses), and Spock was angling to steal an unfair number for the research division. It took some haggling, and death glares from all parties, but Jim eventually talked them both down until the numbers were as fair as they were getting. Spock got the last one, and Leonard contemplated teasing Jim about his favoritism later.

He was half afraid Spock would start in on star-charting techno-babble, but was saved by the shift change. He wandered off to sickbay, parting ways at the turbolift, and doing his best not to think too hard. He had an entire shift to get through, and picturing Spock leaning towards Jim while munching on lettuce was just going to get in the way.


	4. Friction has that effect

**Author's Note:** I might update more often if I let the scenes be their proper length. This just isn't a long one. I hope it's enjoyable anyhow...

* * *

"So, what does Vulcan hanky panky consist of, anyway?" was probably not Leonard's most tactful inquiry to date, even if he did have Spock as a captive subject for his quarterly check-up.

Spock's eyebrow laden glare confirmed that fact, as well as Leonard's supposition that the medical term 'hanky panky' had entered the first officer's parlance. "What motivates your curiosity, doctor?"

He took the moment he needed to compose himself before replying as nonchalantly as possible. "Well, the Handbook on Personal Relationships is pretty explicit on inter-species relationships. Now that you've had some time to settle into the crew, I just wanted to broach the subject." That didn't give it away, presumably.

"I assure you that such attention is unnecessary at this time." There was almost palpable relief on that Vulcan face. Perhaps he thought Leonard was inquiring out of concern for Uhura.

"But do you really want to have to go get my permission in the heat of the moment?" Spock's glare was terribly expressive. "What? Does it get heated?"

"Naturally, doctor. Friction has that effect." He stood, ignoring Leonard's grin. "It would seem that the mandatory tests have been completed. I am needed on the bridge, of course."

"Of course." The doors hissed shut, and Leonard caught himself realizing what Jim saw in the man.


End file.
